Dad’s List Of ‘Rules’ For Dating His Daughters Is Extraordinarily Short And Brilliant

Dad’s List Of ‘Rules’ For Dating His Daughters Is Extraordinarily Short And Brilliant

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There are two types of people in high school: the ones that you can date and the ones you can’t. Unfortunately for me, I’m the latter. Even though I’m around.

Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you’d better be delivering a package, because you’re sure not picking anything up. Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter’s body, I will remove them. Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips.

Please don’t take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Rule Four: I’m sure you’ve been told that in today’s world, sex without utilizing a ‘Barrier method’ of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you. Rule Five: It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day.

Please do not do this.

Finally, A Dad’s Set Of Rules For Dating His Daughter That Won’t Make You Want To Die

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You may glare at her adoringly, so long as you do not peer at anything below the neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off my daughter I will remove them. If you show up at my home with your pants falling down I will be forced to ensure that they do not come off during the course of your date with my daughter by taking my electric staple gun and fastening the pants directly to your waist. Let me elaborate: I am the barrier, and I will kill you. Do not do this. Your ignorance and stupidity will only serve to anger me.

The only information I require of you is when you will have my daughter home. If you make her cry, I will make you cry harder. If you want to be on time you should not be dating my daughter. She is doing her hair, putting on make-up, or whatever; a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge.

the 8 Simple Rules for Dating my Daughter

I nearly punched him. This stuff happens to everyone. And I am ready to throw my children in front of buses rather than have to deal with the aftermath of cleaning it off their shoes or out from under their nails. Or picking up pieces of their broken hearts.

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He would open the door and immediately affect a good-naturedly murderous expression, holding out a handshake that, when gripped, felt like it could squeeze carbon into diamonds. Now, years later, it is my turn to be the dad. As a dad, I have some basic rules, which I have carved into two stone tablets that I have on display in my living room. Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck.

Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object.

However, In order to assure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric staple gun and fasten your trousers securely in place around your waist. Rule Five: In order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this.

The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is “early. Rule Six: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter.

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All right dads gather round, we need to talk about our precious little princesses and those disgusting little boys who want to get their filthy hands on them! We know from experience because we were once that hormone crazed little teen just prowling for the chance to get to any base with a girl, right? Does it?

If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter’s body, I will remove them. Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to.

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Rules for Dating My Daughter. When I was in high school, I used to be terrified of most of my girlfriends’ fathers, who probably suspected me of wanting to place my hands on his daughter in places he would consider most-inappropriate. He was probably right.

Once you are certain he will not reappear, immediately destroy the feather you will find in your hand. Do not resist when my daughter becomes violent—Going.

Both of my daughters are at that age when they start dating. It seems that good old mother nature has somehow triggered their brains to notice the opposite sex. Instead, they should expect a guy in a dented Mustang and a night at Applebees. If, by some chance, the balloon ride happens more power to you, but be realistic. No matter what we do, our little girls are going to be heading out our front door into a car with a boy.

I was a young boy, and I know what young boys are thinking! What you will see here are ground rules for dating my daughters. These are rules and requirements that apply to my house and should apply in yours as well. As parents we do our best to raise girls that respect themselves and boys who respect women. Pull up your pants, if they are hanging below your ass, you will have the door closed in your face. A clean shirt and presentable appearance are crucial if you want to date my daughters.

What are you hiding that you never want to be here? When you do spend time at our home I recommend you be present.

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The first season focused on Paul being left in charge of the children after Cate takes a full-time job as a nurse, with comedic emphasis on his often strict rules concerning his daughters and dating. Bruce Cameron. While 8 Simple Rules was renewed for a second season and production had begun, Ritter’s sudden death in September left the series in an uncertain position. After a hiatus, the series returned and continued without Ritter, choosing to kill off his character.

The third season after Ritter’s death took a creative turn, revolving more around cousin C. After the novelty of newly added ensemble characters wore off, the series returned to its original format. The first three episodes of the series’ second season had been completed when Ritter experienced discomfort during a rehearsal on the afternoon of September 11,

A Doting Dad’s 10 Top Rules For Dating My Daughter

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I have read similar lists. They generally reference feats of strength and a dad who is not afraid of jail. There is even an earworm of a top forty song whining about a rude dad. My husband are I are the proud parents of four daughters.

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